Tuesday, November 29, 2011

My apologies.

·         The day after tomorrow, I am flying to Virginia to see some of my best friends.  I haven’t been this excited about anything in a long, long time.  I’m actually so excited about it that I can’t coherently string my thoughts together.  Therefore, today’s post will not only be in bullet form, but it probably won’t make too much sense, either.  For this, I apologize.


·         This morning on my way to work, I turned left at a red light.  A middle-aged man with a receding hairline and Bluetooth honked at me and flicked me off.  I guess I kind of deserved it.  It really seems as if my driving skills are deteriorating as I get older.  If I’m already struggling this badly now and I’m still a few years shy of thirty, I don’t like to think about how bad it will be when I reach old age.


·         My attempt to stop chewing my fingernails has actually been quite successful.  My nails are longer than they have ever been, and I have developed the incredibly annoying habit of drumming them on whatever hard surface is available. Also, I have made myself bleed more than once because I forget that they are there.  Yeah.  I’m learning.


·         I am freezing.  I decided that it was a wise idea to wear a pair of my Toms with no socks today.  In retrospect, it wasn’t that great of a decision.  It’s rainy and nasty, my feet are cold, and I just got over a double ear infection.  Who wants to come to my house every morning and help me pick out weather appropriate clothing?


·         Oh! I also need someone to come to my house tonight and help me pack for Virginia.  And do laundry for me so that I actually will have clean clothing to pack.


·         I went and got my hair did yesterday.    I once again have pink and purple tips.  Thanks, Becca!

  

·         Yesterday, I finally got a copy of my final divorce decree.  It was a super odd feeling, to say the least.  Surprisingly, I wasn’t sad.  I think I am finished being sad about the whole situation. It is a part of my life that I can’t take back.   And even now, knowing everything I know and being hurt the way I was hurt, I don’t really think I would want to take it back.  I’m stronger.  I’m definitely wiser.  I know that from here on out, I will trust my gut.  I know that if all signs point toward something, no matter how badly I don’t want to believe it, the signs probably aren’t lying.  From the very beginning of this whole mess, I have known that there was no way that I could walk away from this situation unchanged.  But I have also known that I have a choice in how, exactly, I let it change me.  I can let it ruin me, or I can grow from the experience and let it make me even more awesome.  I choose the latter.   Duh.


·         Did I mention that I can’t wait to be in Virginia on Thursday?  Seriously.  I’m not sure that I will be able to sleep until I am there.  These girls are my heart, and I never feel more like me than when I am with them. 


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