My Awkward Life: It's not just me.

Yesterday morning I got a text message from Alyssa telling me that she had a dream that there was a bat flying around in her room, and she woke herself up thrashing and flailing her arms. She has a horrible habit of punching people in the face when she sleeps, even when no crazy dreams are involved (yes, I have been a victim of this), so I said a quick prayer of thanks for the fact that she had been sleeping alone at the time of the dream, made fun of her for being crazy, and went on about my day.

I woke up this morning to the following text message, sent at 2:14 a.m. (her time): So the bat wasn’t a dream, and I’m not a crazy person! Bahaha

Evidently, there really was a bat. And evidently, this bat stays hidden and quiet until Alyssa goes to sleep at night, and then it comes out to fly haphazardly over her bed and around her room.

She is at home visiting her parents right now, so she does what any grown woman would do in this particular situation… she goes and wakes up her Daddy. After convincing him that she, indeed, was sane, and that there was, indeed, a bat in her room, they formed a plan of attack. From what I could gather from our conversation, their approach to the situation was successful and her room is now free from flying creatures of the night.

I’m just glad that I’m not the only person in the world to whom this type of stuff happens.

Maybe I should start a support group.

I’m almost scared to put this out in the universe, but aside from frantic text messages about bats invading bedrooms, these past few days have been blissfully uneventful. I think God knew that I needed rest after the events that took place during my Virginia trip, so things have been pretty chill.

I know.

I probably just ruined my life.

Somebody please send me a text every morning before I go to work and tell me that I need to put on socks. Maybe I should set a reminder on my phone to go off at 7:30 every single day that says, “Grady. You’re 27. Dress like an adult today.”

Actually, maybe I should set a reminder to go off every morning that says, “Grady. You’re 27. Try to actually BE an adult today.” (Yeah. Like that is going to happen.)

My friends, I will close with a joke.

Brace yourselves. Many of you have seen me tell this in person, and you know how phenomenal it really is.

Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Interrupting starfish.

Interrupting starfi….