I am obsessed with TV.

I blame this all on my parents.  They refused to get cable when I was a child, so I was stuck with five local channels and a big hole in my heart that only could have been filled by The Disney Channel and Nickelodeon.

I tried to explain to them that I was slowly dying on the inside due to the lack of relevant entertainment available, but they refused to hear my cries of desperation.   For the first 18 years of my life, I was deprived.

Now, here I am, 27 years old, and ridiculously obsessed with television. 

Some people have a couple of shows that they really enjoy and don’t like to miss.  I’m not one of those people.

Oh no. 

I only wish I could exercise that type of self-restraint. 

There are over a dozen shows that I absolutely refuse to miss.  If I am out of the house and have to DVR them, I will watch them before going to bed.  It is pitiful.  And this time of year, when all the fall shows are premiering, you may as well forget trying to get me to participate in any type of social activity that will require me to leave the house.  I won’t do it.

Tonight is the season premiere of Glee. 

To say that my love for that show is unhealthy would be the understatement of the year.  I have seen every episode numerous times.  I can tell you the backstory for each character. If you were to blindfold me and play a random clip from the series, I would easily be able to tell you the episode, who is speaking, and the context of the scene.   I can tell you the full name, age, hometown, and career journey of each actor and actress.  I read and participate in the online forums, and I know which websites and entertainment journalists provide accurate spoilers and which ones are full of fluff. 

My love for Heather Morris and her character, Brittany, is more than a little bit disturbing.  I may or may not have photoshopped myself into a picture with her.  It may or may not be the background on my phone. 

I may or may not have severe issues.

I completely understand if you want to reevaluate your relationship with me.

But if you decide that you want to friend break up, please wait until after 8 p.m. central standard time to notify me.