When I grow up...

When I was a kid and people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always the same.  Without even thinking or showing the slightest sign of hesitance I would reply, “An architect.”

I was totally lying.  I just couldn’t tell the truth about my real life ambition.

When I grew up, I wanted to be black. 

(At the ripe age of 27, I am as fair skinned and light eyed as ever.)

When I realized that I was stuck with a terminal case of the Caucasian, I decided that it was a good idea for me to teach.  It is important to address the fact that I was a horrible, horrible student.  I was awful.  I didn’t study.  I didn’t do homework.  I loathed every minute that I spent inside the walls of A.P. Brewer High School.  My grades were mediocre, at best, and my discipline record was long. 

I didn’t spend too much time worrying about what exactly it was I wanted to teach.  English is pretty much the only thing I have ever been good at.  (Yup.  Ended a sentence with a preposition again… on purpose.  I get WAY too much joy from the use of intentional irony.)  Momma and Daddy were always pretty willing to let a few minor cuss words slide, but if I busted out a double negative or, heaven forbid, attempted to work the word “ain’t” into a conversation, you would have thought I had told them that I was looking into becoming a Democrat. 

Plus, I was (and still am) an avid reader.  And by avid reader, I really mean freak.  I read Lord of the Flies and To Kill a Mockingbird when I was in second grade.  Actually, I read both of those books multiple times that year.  To this day, they’re still two of my favorites.

I mentioned it in my first blog entry, but I taught English for two years at a tiny school in a tiny town.  I miss teaching, and I miss the kids, but until the economy becomes a little bit more stable, it isn’t exactly realistic for me to think that I will be getting a job in that field in the next few years.

I do own a small, but fairly successful photography business.  Prepare yourself for the cheesy statement that is about to follow.  But I think that there is so much more to a picture than just capturing the way someone looks.  I truly believe that is completely possible to capture a person’s character, to capture a person’s essence in a picture.  As much as I love when I get the absolute perfect shot, I’m not sure that I could ever take pictures full time.  I’m terrified that if it became my job, I would start to resent it.

So, I’m back to where I started. 

I never wanted to be an architect. I’m still not black. I’m not teaching right now. Taking pictures is fun, but not a career option. 

I need a new life plan.

Is it too late for me to join the Peace Corp?  Will they let me bring Ellie? Or would the natives of wherever I am stationed try to eat Ellie?

Maybe I can be someone who works on a street corner.  You know… the ones who hold the signs and dance to advertise for a local business?  Anyone who has seen my mad dancing skills is quite aware of how fabulous this could truly be.  

Help.